My son came home from Pensacola on December 17th. He stayed until December 26th. He's in the Navy. While he was here, it seemed almost as if he never left. Now that he is gone, I find myself thinking, "Wait! I wasn't paying attention!!" This is a perfect example of what has happened my whole life, with my kids. "But wait! I just want one more hug" or "can't you just be 8 years old, one more time???" Why does it go by so fast? And WHY on earth did I not realize that when my kids grew up and moved away, it would be soooo agonizing? I'm happy for my oldest, that he's happy. That's great. I am not, however, happy for myself, and I'm not quite sure how to get there. All I can do is get used to hating it. Is that what happens? You don't like it, you don't really want it to happen, so you just "keep on keepin' on" and get used to it? That's how it is for me at this point... except I'm not used to it yet...
This is not a fun time in my life. :-(
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Teachers
I'm a teacher. I always wanted to be a teacher. I went to college from the time I was 24 until I was almost 34. I was determined to be a teacher.
Lately I have been hearing people on t.v. talk about how, "Teachers don't teach because of the money, they teach because they have a love for kids and they want to help them be the best they can be." I hear this similar message a lot and I have to be honest: I COMPLETELY disagree with it. I was a substitute teacher for 4 years in all grades, K-12 and about 98% of the teachers I interacted with taught because, one, they wanted to control a group of people and be "The Boss" and/or two, they did very well in school themselves and thought that ALL kids should do well too; that these "dumb" kids need to learn from them and get the good grades they just "should" be getting. I heard a lot of blame toward parents and I heard awful things spoken in the teacher's lounge. I heard one student teacher speak so horribly of a student one spring. She got a full-time teaching job the following year. Something is terribly wrong with our public school system and I get frustrated when people deny that or wonder why that is. I've subbed in 12 different schools and there are about 3 people in each building who should be working with kids. That scares me.
Lately I have been hearing people on t.v. talk about how, "Teachers don't teach because of the money, they teach because they have a love for kids and they want to help them be the best they can be." I hear this similar message a lot and I have to be honest: I COMPLETELY disagree with it. I was a substitute teacher for 4 years in all grades, K-12 and about 98% of the teachers I interacted with taught because, one, they wanted to control a group of people and be "The Boss" and/or two, they did very well in school themselves and thought that ALL kids should do well too; that these "dumb" kids need to learn from them and get the good grades they just "should" be getting. I heard a lot of blame toward parents and I heard awful things spoken in the teacher's lounge. I heard one student teacher speak so horribly of a student one spring. She got a full-time teaching job the following year. Something is terribly wrong with our public school system and I get frustrated when people deny that or wonder why that is. I've subbed in 12 different schools and there are about 3 people in each building who should be working with kids. That scares me.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
About My Blog
This is my first blog post. I'm not quite sure what I want this Blog to be about. I just know that I am feeling like I am entering a new "stage" in life and I am learning many new things. If other people are feeling the way I am, my posts might help them. By doing this, I too, will hopefully find other people who are feeling the way I am and I guess I'm looking at it as a sort of "therapy." I am navigating through unknown territory in my life. I have been a mom since I was 20. I feel that role slipping away and I'm not sure how to live my life now. I am also learning a lot about myself; I have been really thinking about what I believe about life. Is there a God? I'm thinking, no. I have been researching atheism, agnosticism as well as Christianity. The answer seems pretty obvious to me and I wonder why it's not to others. Especially other people whom I regard as intelligent. I feel like, if people want to have that spiritual connection or relationship, I get that. I don't understand though, why people can't understand and acknowledge that in 2009, we know how things work and how they don't. Why is this myth still being inserted into our government? But, I digress...
My two older boys attended public school and it was an uphill battle the entire way. I will be homeschooling my 9 year old, beginning September of 2010 (if not before- long story) and I am hoping that this will be a place for me to discuss that topic as well. I also teach online college courses, so higher education is important to me as well. Kids, empty nest "syndrome," religion, politics, higher education, homeschooling and the negative aspects of public schooling are the main topics on my mind at this point. :-)
My two older boys attended public school and it was an uphill battle the entire way. I will be homeschooling my 9 year old, beginning September of 2010 (if not before- long story) and I am hoping that this will be a place for me to discuss that topic as well. I also teach online college courses, so higher education is important to me as well. Kids, empty nest "syndrome," religion, politics, higher education, homeschooling and the negative aspects of public schooling are the main topics on my mind at this point. :-)
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